


You are not okay

by OhDearLoki



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhDearLoki/pseuds/OhDearLoki
Summary: Loki comes back from a mission with the Avengers and you can sense that something is wrong.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Kudos: 55





	You are not okay

The door slammed shut violently, making you jump from the couch. You quickly stood up to see what was happening. You first saw Steve and Tony making their way towards the table in the principal room of the tower, when they saw you. They looked at you with a tight smile, yet you could see they were sad and upset. You immediately knew what was happening. The Avengers had a bad mission and Loki was in a bad mood. As you realized that, Loki walked in front of you to grab a glass of water in the kitchen. You immediately saw the signs.

His blue-green eyes were hard and cold, avoiding you. His back was straight and tense, his fits were clenching at his side. He was angry, upset, and you didn’t know why. But as usual, he just sat down at the table, drank his glass and started a conversation with you, as if nothing ever happened. You asked him if he was okay and he said yes. But you could see through his act, you knew him better that he knew himself.

You waited, your eyes never living Loki’s body, searching for any sign of relaxation. Finally, Steve and Tony exited the room to head to bed. You waited until they were totally out of sight then you turned toward Loki. His fists were clenched around the glass; you were certain that he was going to break it.

“Loki, what happened?” You asked quietly.

“Nothing, Y/n. I’m fine.” He said casually, as if it was no big deal.

And that was it. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You loved Loki and you couldn’t stand seeing him hurt, but he was stubborn and he somehow believed that he must be keeping all his problems to himself. You sighed frustrated and looked at him with angry eyes.

“For once, stop pretending you’re okay!” You said, your voice almost rising at a shout. “Talk to me!” You pleaded.

“There’s nothing to say.” He stood up and was going to retreat in his room, but you couldn’t let him go so easily, he couldn’t continue avoiding his problems, he needed to talk. You stood up and ran in front of him, blocking his way.

He stopped and for the first time this night, he looked in your eyes. And you could saw the hurt in them, you could saw the tears that he wouldn’t let down. You were slightly taken aback by the tears, Loki was not someone who cried often, you barely manage to see a single tear when he did. But now, he was on the edge of breaking in tears, you felt bad, maybe it was worse than you imagined, maybe you shouldn’t have forced him.

“Hey.” Was all you manage to say in your shock.

Loki dropped his head, looking at his feet, as if he was ashamed of his tears, as if he was ashamed of showing feelings. His fists were still clenched at his side but you could see that he was sadder than angry now. You tentatively put a hand on his shoulder and he tensed at your touch. You were about to let go but then he took your hand in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He wasn’t able to look at you; he was focused on your hand instead.

“She weren’t supposed to be there.” He finally spoke, his voice was hoarse and shaky.

You frowned slightly, you didn’t know what he was talking about, but you stayed quiet. He needed time to speak, you were going to wait until he was ready. You squeezed his hand gently, showing him that you were here for him.

“She just wanted to help.” He continued after a moment, his voice more powerful, but still wavering from emotions. “I couldn’t save her. I tried, but I…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence, he shook his head, let go of your hand and turned his back to you. You looked at him, you heart was aching for him. You understood now why he was so shaken, someone died on their mission, and he felt guilty. You could see his back tensed and his shoulder trembling slightly, he was trying to hold back his tears. You couldn’t bear it anymore, you slowly stepped closer to him and carefully wrapped your arms around him by behind, resting your head on his shoulder. You hugged him tightly because that was what he needed right now.

You stayed like that during minutes, just holding him, reassuring him, making him understand that you were here for him. When he raised his head, you let him go, he faced you and you could see his red eyes and cheeks. You took his hands in yours and looked at him in the eyes.

“Loki, I know it’s hard to hear, but you can’t save everyone.” You said gently. “I know you think you have to save everyone to make amend for what you did to New York years ago. I know you think you have to be the perfect hero to please and stay on the Avengers Team. But you don’t. You really don’t. I know that you did everything you could to save her. That’s what matter.”

“It could have been you.” He said, his voice full of agony at this simple realization.

Loki wasn’t emotional that easily, but when it came to you… He loved you, more than anything, and he couldn’t lose you. But that was the problem with him, he thought he was cursed. And watching this poor girl being kill in front of him, laying in her own blood, he immediately thought about you. What if you were the one dead? What if you were the one laying on the ground, pale skin and dead eyes? What if he couldn’t protect you, you save you?

“Hey, look at me.” You demanded quietly, taking his face in your hand. “I’m here, I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. I promise you, you won’t.”

You hugged him and you could feel his arms wrapping around your waist tightly, his head in your neck.

“Loki, you can’t save everyone, and you can’t keep that sort of thing to yourself, it’s gonna kill you. So please, stop pretending to be fine, and talk to me. I’m here for you, I’ll always be.”

He didn’t answer anything but you knew he understood. He didn’t have to say a word, you knew he appreciated what you’d done, he was grateful that you made him talk and he was just glad to have you. Because Loki Odinson needed to know that, no matter what, you’ll always be there for him.


End file.
